Wednesday, April 7, 2010

well? can it be done?

'Buy bread for all these folks? Out here?’

‘Cross this Jordan? At this place? At this time?’

‘Take Jericho? Have you seen the walls and the strong gates?’

‘Roll the stone away? He’s beyond dead and stinks.’

‘We are going to have a baby? Now? At our age?

‘They’re bones, already - very dead - very dry. Can they live?'

Oy vey!

Some time back I heard a whisper in my heart that He delights in bringing us right up against ‘it’. No matter what ‘it’ is, as long as ‘it’ is a complete impossibility for us. Impossible for us to go on - get over - go around - make work - figure out - or even back up. Impossible!

The Jordan at flood time, the barrenness of a womb along with a promise of a child, the hungry 5 thousand, Lazarus dead for 4 days, the valley of bones, etc - right up to the very thing which is so incredibly impossible for us to deal with.

He said, ‘Kelly?’ ‘Yes, sir?’ ‘What do you think? Can this be done?’ ‘Oh, Lord! You know!’

This sort of living on the edge - my description, His description - living with Him being completely free in me to do what He desires - I am finding He is absolutely ecstatic about.

What an adventure for this one who is much more comfortable living no closer to the edge of the chasm than - say - 10 to 15 feet at most. ‘Have You noticed, Lord? I’m an old woman! I have gray hairs and my knees don’t work as well as they used to!’ ‘Have you noticed, Kelly, John on Patmos? Was I finished with him though he had gray hair, too?’

I think it delights Him no end when we honestly can say without any feeling of guilt or despair but with great relief and lightness, 'Oh Lord, You know.' And that saying is active faith and trust and expectation, not passive resignation.

There is that growing realization within that when we are brought to that place, He does not mean for us to be overwhelmed, or defeated or destroyed, but He desires to make Himself known to us - in that very place. To reveal His heart. To reveal His face.

Life provides the impossibles - He provides the revealings.


mary said...

Good word, Kelly :)
I remember the first time I heard Ezekial say 'O Lord God, You Know!' and I thought 'this man has learned something.' There must have been a coming to a place where he knew NOTHING ( a brokenness) and all his knowing had to come from the Lord. A place of dependency...a place of expectancy. A place of 'not knowing' but knowing the One who knows EVERYTHING!! And an almost like 'how dare we presume to know...' - that falling into that referential, holy fear of the Lord.

mary said...

How could I forget!! Regarding your comment on being an old woman with grey hair...hear ye this from Isaiah 46:3 'Even to your old age I am He, and even to hair white with age will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes I will carry and save you.'

Eve-Loraine said...

'He delights in bringing us right up against it' spoke to me. I am always saying O Lord this is too hard! I don't like being brought right up against it. Yet I know that it's in these places that He is able to change me.
I often find myself saying, O Lord you know.

Kelly said...

I hear you, Eve - I don't like it either. As Mary said, it's that place of total dependency - and to get there one necessarily has to get to the 'it'.

Paul said he rejoiced when he could do nothing - Abraham praised Him when he could produce no offspring.

I do believe - and have experienced it more than once, that there is a point we reach where there is great relief in acknowledging our impotency, and rejoicing in that state - and coming into the knowing that He is fully potent and able.

Thank you sisters for your rich comments.